Day 45! Halfway there!

Well, I was on fire in a good way this morning doing Sweat 3-4. I have gotten to where I can reach high with my hands on the knee raises for 4 times and them hands down for 4, repeat, which is great for my heart rate!

My weight loss has SLOWED to a crawl lately, even gaining a lb or so each week! As my BF and muscle readings on my scanner have been improving greatly, I assume I am gaining muscle under the flab! I hope so! I am just going to keep going on with it! Doing my best! Nutrition is key, so I will stay On-Plan with WW as best I can.

WOOT!

EDIT: I can feel a lot of new muscle under the flab, so the above is a very solid hypothesis. Very exciting!

Tony Horton: "Do your best and forget the rest"

Thanks for this Tony Horton. This is the hallmark of a great trainer, teacher, and leader. This is what I strive for when I teach Kung Fu to the little kids in our kids class. Do your best and let go of what you can't do (yet).

Chances are that if you do your best everyday, then you will be able to nibble away at what you CAN'T do. Just like reading a book and learning it's contents. It works the same way with the body.

This is the core concept of yoga as I see it. If you do whatever you practice a little each day the best you can, then you WILL get better.

Day 42, Sculpt

Morning world,

I have decided to keep doing my circuit strength training DVD in the morning. The mind games that arise when I was toying with the idea of doing cardio every morning and then strength 3 day a week were pretty dehabilitating... IYKWIM.

I figure my circuit strength workouts are pretty aerobic as it is as Tony Horton really keeps the pace up! Yeah Tony! Thanks for P90!

Hope you had a great weekend. I know I did with lots of sleep and exercise and eating well.

I discovered the joys of tuna steaks from costco over the weekend pan fryed in a little olive oil. My GOD they're good!

Day 39, Hugely busy day, overslept

Hey there,

I overslept this morning and huge social events (work lunch party, dinner at chinese buffet with mom, god help me) all day. Hmph. Busy day at work too so I am gonna keep this brief.

I WILL get my sweat workout in this afternoon after work and BEFORE dinner with mom and bro and nephew. GRRRGH!

Will report in later for accountability!!!!!!!!!

Unhappy, anxiety

You know... Today I am not very happy. I night-ate last night and that sucked. But I have the points in my daily allowance for it..

But then at lunch today I overate at subways. I got two footlongs and was going to save the second..welll you know the rest...

So now I am full in a bad way and I still have dinner to deal with. It upsets my wife when I don't have points left for her dinners. She works hard to cook then for us. I do still have 10 points in my weekly points allowance, so I will play it cool and maybe get some working out in even though today is a rest day...

I always feel better after working out.

Rest day

Hi there,

During my 37 days of P90, I haven't had that many rest days. Well, I decided today is gonna be a rest day. But today at lunch I overate somewhat, so I am feeling some anxiety and combined with my "jonce" to workout, I am getting downright jumpy. I think I will do a sculpt work out taking it easy, learning the resistance bands, and then maybe a "fat burning express" taking it easy too. Just nice and easy to have fun. I am gonna go nuts!

Day Thirtysomething

I have been struggling with allergies and drowsiness from antihistimines the last couple of days and I have missed a few WOWY workouts. Sad... Anyway I have still kept up with the program! Victory!

Uggh.. This morning it was sooo hard to do my Sweat 1-2 workout. That is, it was hard to start... Once I DID get started I did fine and it felt really great.

Lately, I have decided to do Sweat and Fat Burning Express (M-W-Sat with Sculpt in the PM) on alternate mornings with Thursday as a rest day. It seems like a good plan. I really want to get back in the habit of morning exercise (not that I am that out of it, just having inner child issues). And like I said this morning to my friend on another BBS, my inner child was throwing a tantrum, but my inner adult was in charge.

Gabriel and Satan Shoot Craps

Sometimes after unhealthy eating, I feel horrible and sick and ashamed and like I am being torn up inside...

It reminds me of a Mike Cross song about some pour schmuck getting killed by a bounty hunter and as he lay there dying, he senses Gabriel and Satan shooting craps for his soul.

If Satan wins you give up and throw in the towel. If good wins you pick yourself up and keep on, forgiving yourself in God's grace. Amen.

We become what we do

We become what we do.
Chiang Kai-shek

While the Old Jiang wasn't the best of nice people, he has a point here. This is basically the concept of karma. If you plant an apple seed, you will get an apple tree, not a mango tree.

If you eat a lot and don't work your body, your body will get fat. If you eat well and exercise properly, you will live a healthier life!

Simple.

Tax Day, Power 90 Day 30 Tomorrow!

Man am I excited. Tomorrow is day 30 of my first round of Power 90. So far it's been really great for my lungs, heart and muscular strength! Thanks Tony Horton and Beachbody!

Last night Tony Horton had a chat on teambeachbody.com. He was pretty down on diet programs like nutri-system and jenny craig... and WEIGHTWATCHERS. ... That was pretty sad that he lumped those together. Weightwatchers has a lot of truth to it even without the meetings (lot cheaper that way too). Oh well. Even the most wonderful of gurus can get it wrong once in a while. :/

That being said. I am really turned off by the cost of meetings and gimmicky nature of WW's food sales. All that stuff is crap diet food and it perpetuates the diet cycle. It's just not sexy enough to tell people to go vegatarian or go eat celery! Lol. I guess that's the reality of America though. Reality can be changed one person at a time. Moving Mountains, eh?

So mixed feelings in the end. It's not easy losing 100 lbs or more. A paradigm shift is really needed, which plans like WW can help with (especially when combined with BCB).

/rant over

Day 28-29

Hi there,

I have been wracked my wrist pain and then neck pain over the last 4-5 days. Man it was horrible. But now I am generally better (neck needs a bit more time). I have kept up with workouts modified for my injuries. Thankfully my feet are fine. :)

I switched to Circuit 3-4, so I am happy with that. I also order some PowerStands (Tony's design!) and some more bands. Very Exciting!

I was reading the Escape from Obesity blog and the author had a blog about learned helplessness. I think this is related to what I suffer from. A creeping sense of "why?" that tries to get me to quietly quit my efforts. Hmm... Not so fast butthead! [ speaking to the creeping quitting :) ]

Not feeling very well today, so I won't write much. Keep trudging though! Keep up the fight! The enemy doesn't quit! We can't either! Love is the only answer!

Day 24, Moody

Hi there,

Got my Master series DVDs in the mail and they look neat. I will have to pace myself and start these much later, so as to not overdo too many difficult exercises and hurt myself (wrists, knees, shoulder OH MY!).

BUT I have been waiting for my perfect pushup and got a notice that the package was delivered yesterday but I wasn't home so now I have to go to the post office to pick it up. Grrh! Oh well, at least I can take the opportunity to mail off my tax returns. :(

Sorry about the whiny blog my dear reader. It's where I am at the last couple days.

However, I will continue to PRESS PLAY and BRING IT!

Permission

Hi world,

Today I'd like to talk about Permission. That is, giving yourself permission to splurge and cheat on your nutrition plan. Some people find it helps them and then may gradually find they need it less and less as they practice a healthy lifestyle.

For me, it's quite the opposite. I sabotage myself and get into negative habits of negative thinking. It all becomes a quick sand of self-fulfilling prophecy and failure that I can't escape. I am somehow afraid of how being fit and strong will affect my life. A major part of my personality is that of the serious athelete, which is strange coming from someone who hardly exercised for ten YEARS!

AND I am afraid to FAIL! Wow that's a huge one. My demons of delusion say to me, "aw give up you moron you can't do it" or "you're tired, come on and stop, exercise is too much hassle." Well, it is well within my power to live with these thoughts (demons that they be), and I will explain below.

So a friend's recent post on BCB has inspired me to start a practice of giving myself PERMISSION to succeed with my weight loss goals. I can thank my demons for their opinion (Thanks to Jack Kornfield) and direct my intention toward healthy living. I can dedicate myself to noble success in compassion for myself and those around me. Thanks for reading.

Day 20 Update! and BCB drama

Hi there,

Today is Day 20 and I am very happy to be here. In fact, I ordered Power 90 Masters Series in preparation for the second 90 days. Even though I could probably go forward to the more difficult stage 3-4 DVDs, I am taking my time to allow my body to train up to be stably comfortable with the first stage 1-2 DVD workout. In that vein, I am forcing myself to wait to go to 3-4 Sculpt and Sweat AFTER day 30. If I continue that was I may need more variety so Masters Series may be a good choice after that.

The last few days have been a little sad as I have been involved in an argument of sorts with another BCBer. The root of it is one) that I wasn't diplomatic in some posted responses to his posts and two) we see things differently in a bad way. Sigh. Oh well. I have apologized and I will leave alone any posts I disagree with in the future.

I see that it was my fervor hurting him. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. :(

Hatred

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.
-- Buddha

Often people who are overweight, especially the extremely overweight and obese person, have some symptoms of HATING themselves, either because of long-term unhappiness and self-destructive tendencies or short-term depression or whatever.

It is my hypothesis and my experience so far that to truly regain the humanity you had when you were young and truly lived life to the fullest, you MUST LOVE YOURSELF. You must let go (not struggle with or destroy) the hate you have for yourself.

Let me give an example from my current efforts: I am following the Power 90 DVD exercise program for 90 days. It mandates that I do 6 workouts a week. Sometimes I might still have some energy or a feeling that I NEED to do more or more heavier weights or whatever. I have to stop and think and make myself rest more. Take my time and be patient with myself. Hold myself in lovingkindness and compassion. Nurture and protect my body as best I can, so I can be on this journey for the rest of my life and not burnout in a blaze of deluded glory only to fall back into depression and self-abandonment.

Hehe, have a happy friday!

Taking it slow

In weight loss, quick results are sometimes desired but generally not recommended. Healthly weight loss is supposed to be around 1 to 2 lbs a week. Well, last time I lost weight last year I lost 70 lbs in 7 months, which was a little too fast. I had loose skin and my body image was out of wack, not to mentioned my clothes!

This time around, I hope to go a little slower and get some overall fitness results at the same time. This is the major area where I am really happy with my Power 90 experience. I have been getting stronger all over my body and my breathing capacity and cardiovascular condition has improved a lot over my previous post-quitting-smoking-low.

PS: I am feeling MUCH better! Back to normal! WOOT!

Terrible Happenings!

I was just listening to one of my Jack Kornfield audiobooks in which he quoted Mark Twain. "My mind is full of terrible happenings. Most of which never happened..."

Many fat people are depressed and many depressed people get fat. This is all related to simply THINKING TOO MUCH. If one is simply mindful and exist in the moment instead of letting feelings, thoughts, and mental self-storytelling "take the wheel," then one is free to do what you need to do with peaceful intent.

Just a thought.

The Worms Control the Spice!

Hi there,

Well today is April Fools Day and supposedly some big worm virus is supposed to morph into a giant disaster today, but so far so good at my work.

Last night not so good. My guts were holding a mutiny. I think it's because I have been eating too much cold food and drinking too much cold drink. Anyway, not fun.

However, I took some medicine last night, got up this morning and was able to at least fake my way through my Power 90 aerobics DVD, which is OK by me considering how weak I feel.

Here's hoping President Obama makes some good connections with world leaders at the London G20 Summit and that the worm is a DUD!

EDIT: BETTER NOT BE MY TUNA OR MY WHEY OR THERE'S GONNA BE TROUBLE! GRRRH!!