A Foul Humor

I am in a foul, foul mood today. I realized that my aunt came to visit my grandparents in Virginia last week, my Mom told me about it, I decided I couldn't go...Today I realized that no one actually ever asked me to go. I was not invited. I don't trust my people to want me there. My family has hardly any real emotional connection. I feel like I am the only person who gives a damn. Sure I know I am a selfish and arrogant and alpha type personality, but my family should want me around... I have been almost crying alllllll morning. It sucks hardcore...

One thing this means is that I have NOT been exercising enough. I have been taking it easy because of my wrist, but I am not getting my usual endorphins.

My newly finer-tuned survival instincts are intact however. I wanted to go buy an orgy of XXXXXXXXXXXXXSHFJHASDFJASDKFBasj at Safeway before work to dull the pain of my sad life (my depression), but I didn't. I turned the car around and went back toward work, saw the 7-11 on the way to work, got weak and stopped...But after looking and looking, I bought 2 boiled eggs... LOL My first smile of the day. :/

So here goes. I hope you are well as you read this. We are all connected. If you are an older person in your family, don't give your younger people too much room. Call them and ask them how they are from time to time. Call them over to see you occasionally. And please take care of yourself and be well.

EDIT: I just realized that my Mom probably was asking me if I wanted to go when she told me about my Aunt's visit, but I don't remember the words. The words "Go with me" never occured.